


And I'll Take the Long Way Home

by badfaithed



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Mt. Shirogane | Mt. Silver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22829851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badfaithed/pseuds/badfaithed
Summary: The weird thing about Pokemon journeys was that you were supposed to go when you were a kid. There wasn’t any rule about it or anything stamped in bold blazoning this fact, but it was just an accepted occurrence, at least within the realms of Kanto. The thing about this was that it threw you into lots of situations that you might not be prepared for at all, in the name that it would be a quest of personal growth. For Green though, it was like he tumbled out of the wheel worse than he was before. Or maybe it was a necessary experience. Of course, these were all musings he had quite some time later, when the raging fire in his chest slid away with the passage of hours, days, months.
Relationships: Ookido Green | Blue Oak/Red
Comments: 10
Kudos: 92





	And I'll Take the Long Way Home

  


The weird thing about Pokemon journeys was that you were supposed to go when you were a kid. There wasn’t any rule about it or anything stamped in bold blazoning this fact, but it was just an accepted occurrence, at least within the realms of Kanto. The thing about this was that it threw you into lots of situations that you might not be prepared for at all, in the name that it would be a quest of personal growth. For Green though, it was like he tumbled out of the wheel worse than he was before. Or maybe it was a necessary experience. Of course, these were all musings he had quite some time later, when the raging fire in his chest slid away with the passage of hours, days, months. 

  


When Red beat him with the divine concentration of a thousand suns, dark eyes never leaving his, Green felt like he had lost something. He couldn’t even put it into words at the time, but it wasn’t just the matter of the championship. To put it rather poetically, the faint silhouette he was chasing after, rushing to overtake, had finally disappeared, so far into the distance that he couldn’t even make it out anymore. And it burned and it stung, like a wound had opened up deep inside of him, fresh blood trickling out with every breath he took. So he left. He healed up his Pokemon in silence and trekked out into the inessential mountains surrounding the League headquarters. He ran between the trees, feeling the howling wind whip his hair back. And when he emerged into an empty clearing, scattering the crowd of gathered Butterfree, he stood there for a minute, closing his eyes, but there was nothing at all behind the tenuous safety of his eyelids, nothing in his imagination except the whorl of a storm. 

  


As the moon rose to its zenith, he screamed.

  


No one heard a thing.

  


-

  


In a way, he became more subdued after Red beat him. It wasn’t like he changed a lot, but there was a layer to him that made him subtly inaccessible to everyone, as if there were harsh new walls standing between Green and the world. It wasn’t immediately noticeable, but it was there. He never stopped being a trainer, getting fired up at the idea of a challenge, but he held everything at an arm’s length. He accepted the League’s invitation to take over Viridian Gym, but he spent extended amounts of time away, working to strengthen his Pokemon or otherwise staring into space and contemplating on how things had even turned out this way. (It was during one of his travels it occurred to him how premature kids were tossed into the wilderness. Of course, he similarly came to a bitter conclusion about how everything that transpired between him and Red was still his fault.) Ironically enough, it made him into a notorious figure in Kanto, and people were drawn in by the mystery that enshrouded him. Once when Green dropped by the Pokemart to pick up supplies, he overheard a girl whispering to her friend about how cool he was. However, he had it seen to that he wouldn’t be taken lightly. Those who weren’t taken out by his gym trainers he made sure to wipe the floor with, emerging triumphant from many battles. He made a name for himself as the hardest gym leader to challenge in the whole region. 

  


But all of this occurred over the course of a year. A mere month after Green started working in the gym, he was interrupted by his phone insistently ringing. It turned out to be Lance, notifying him that Red had disappeared. Into thin air, made accidental, nowhere to be found. By the time he put down the phone, he felt suitably consumed with dread, and he sat still in his office for a good twenty minutes, doing absolutely nothing. Eevee looked at him with concerned eyes that knew too much, almost as though she had grown up too quick, much like her own trainer. He eventually shook it off and continued with his day, accepting his challengers, but that night he had Pidgeot take him to Cerulean Cape. He climbed over the fence and sat on the cliffside where the flowers were, and looked out into the distance. He wondered where Red was, if he was even out here at all. He didn’t allow himself the possibility of considering that Red might be truly gone, because he simply couldn’t be, right? If he thought too much about it, he felt himself getting sick. Instead, he rested his forehead on his knees and cried silently, the sounds drowned out by the roaring of the waves.

  


Once upon a time they talked about coming here together, the place where the land ended and the sea began. When everything you’ve seen was within the two acres of Pallet Town, there seemed to be nothing more enchanting than adventuring. From one side of the ocean to another.

  


Now, the only thing Green really wanted was to erase everything and start over.

  


-

  


The volcano on Cinnabar erupted. He heard it, and he was sure most people did too. One moment he was speaking to Arabella about his technique, the second they were both running out of the gym, only to watch a plume of volcanic ash rising in the air. Green stood ramrod still for a moment, before rushing down Route 1 towards Pallet. He was met with the sight of Blaine landing ungracefully from a Skarmory that was probably not his. His glasses were askew, bits of his pant leg seared off, but his face was grateful. The Skarmory let out a cry and rejoined its trainer, and Blaine glanced around, taking note of everyone that had evacuated, before beaming widely amidst the smoke. Green caught his eye, and went through the motions of asking if he and everyone else was okay. “All thirty six of us, hah,” Blaine nodded, releasing his Magcargo. “My fiery friend here realized it a few hours ago, huh?” 

  


Months later, Green formed a habit of visiting Cinnabar. At first, there were lots of other people who milled around the volcano, both fearful and in awe, but after a while he supposed they decided it was nothing to make a fuss about. For him, it made the perfect place to sit and think and ponder, while Arcanine enjoyed the heat wholeheartedly, wagging his gigantic tail. Arcanine liked to curl around Green for hours on end, always making him halfheartedly worry about overheating. He liked Cinnabar; he didn’t like thinking about why. Occasionally, he would run across a reminiscing Blaine, and they would sit on the cooling rock together. Blaine would ramble on about the old days, and Green would listen, toying with his pendant offhandedly. This was how he found out about how Blaine decided to become a fire type specialist, and about the long friendship between him and Mr. Fuji. Blaine became a close friend and confidant of sorts for Green, though he was still wary about talking about Red. After all, it would amount to nothing anyway: no one even knew where Red was.

  


One day, Green was again at Cinnabar after training on Route 21 and thoroughly defeating every unfortunate swimmer that came across his course. Gyarados took off into the air almost right away, leaving Green to his thoughts. Near the peak of the volcano, he could see pretty much the whole of Kanto, and next to it, Johto. Funnily enough, for all his ambition, he never considered venturing outside of the borders of his home region. Perhaps because it once seemed like it was outside of any realm of possibility. He could travel there easily now, passing through Indigo Plateau. He wondered if he should collect all the Johto badges too, but it seemed rather pointless. But there was something that he was slightly interested in… He called Gyarados down, and ran his hand affectionately over his crest. “Hey bud, you wanna go to Mt Silver?”

  


Blaine said something to him once that stayed with him. About how if nature so much as twitched, everything could just perish – that that was their place, as humans. But they could still go on, because the sturdiest thing about people were their minds. That they could fight in face of adversity. Swallowing drily and recalling Eevee back into her Pokeball, Green stepped into Johto for the first time. He pulled his coat tighter around himself and faced the glare of Mt Silver’s pinnacle. This seemed appropriate enough for his fight against adversity. Something to challenge, to overcome.

  


Maybe after this he could move past _his_ past.

  


-

  


Red had always been his best friend. This wasn’t even anything subjective: it was a fact among the people of Pallet Town back then. Red and Green. Green and Red. They were inseparable. When one was seen without other, everyone would know that they’d had a row, or something, but eventually they’d show up together again, chasing Rattata or looking for an elusive Furret, running through the dirt. Green missed those days, even if he couldn’t even admit that to himself. You’re not allowed to miss it, his mind would say. Not when you were the one fucked it up. And he was the one who did. When he was nine he started isolating Red, drawing back into himself, and striking out whenever Red said anything that inflamed him even the slightest bit. It was bloody difficult sometimes, not that he ever let it show. It was like he was walking all over himself and Red at the same time. It hurt.

  


But he felt like he had to, at the time, even though looking back, it was absurd. He once thought that this was the way out. Green talked big but he was also ceaselessly observant, and it hardly escaped him the fond glances that his grandfather would send towards Red. It felt like the only one who was ever on his side was Daisy, but Daisy was often away working in Saffron, working to support their living and pay off the mortgage on the house. Green wanted to be something for her, and for himself. Wanted to be better, but it felt like he was living in the towering shadow of Red. Red, who didn’t have to speak to be heard, who was blessed to be strong and powerful and intelligent by Arceus or whatever god there truly was. In his tiny head, this resolved itself into one single desire to better Red, to insult him at every turn, to take every small opportunity to hurt him. Green didn’t hate Red, couldn’t hate him, but he convinced himself of it anyway.

  


When Red first looked back at him with betrayal, the same emotion made Green’s eyes hollow. 

  


Afterwards, Green got better at compartmentalizing. By the time they set off, him with Eevee and Red followed by Pikachu, there was nothing to read in Green’s face but senseless pride and malice.

  


-

  


“Rest up,” Green spoke gently as he recalled Blastoise into his Pokeball. None of his Pokemon really had an affinity with ice, but they were faring pretty well, if he could say so himself. They were halfway to the summit now, and Green was starting to feel like he was going to get frostbite. Arcanine trotted ahead, letting out a blast of fire every once and then. Up here the air was thinner, but he somehow felt different, like he was _existing._ He couldn’t keep the ridiculous grin off his face, and his Pokemon could feel the energy radiating off him. Everything up here was new and Green felt like a little kid as he ran through the caves, cheeks red from the cold. There were wild Pokemon coming at them from left and right, distracting him from his own moroseness. His breath came out in white, visible puffs, and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest under all of the layers, keeping him alive. Arcanine seemed a bit concerned and nipped at his clothes, but he shook his head to say no, he was perfectly all right. He caught a Misdreavus at one point, deeming it cute and sending it back to the PC. All in all, the sense of adventure kept him moving heedlessly.

  


As the sun dipped into the hillside, Alakazam convinced him not to be an illogical idiot and settle for the night by projecting an onslaught of horrid images of what might happen to Green. The most infuriating thing was that they could all actually happen; Alakazam wasn’t one of the most intelligent Pokemon for nothing. “Seriously, dude,” Green mumbled, though all his Pokemon had to say in response was a grunt of exasperation. When the stars started to shine far above the bleak, white landscape of Mt Silver, Green turned in for the night, releasing Eevee and settling as comfortably as he could against Arcanine. The cave they were in was roomy and quiet, which would be nice if Green wasn’t trying to escape from his own demons. He held Eevee closer against himself, and shut his eyes. He recalled a trick that Daisy told him about when he was younger, something about picturing yourself lying alone on a beach, listening to the rhythmic lap of waves and feeling the warmth on your skin. She used to say that the tranquility would help calm him down.

  


Green fell asleep eventually, but as he tumbled into his subconscious, a cesspool tinged red and black, his fists curled in on themselves like a man in action. Eevee huffed unhappily and huddled closer, trying to press her Soothe Bell to his skin. 

  


It didn’t work.

  


-

  


Green woke to the roar of a Charizard from outside the cavern. Reacting impulsively, he jumped to his feet, eyes flitting about restlessly and hands held out in front of him to protect himself. Eevee only startled for a second before adjusting her hold on his shoulder, and Arcanine got to his feet, responding in turn with a sharp bark. Green walked out, tense as a livewire, and what he saw made his heart drop like stones. There was no way… there was honestly no way. But there he was, Red in all his glory, holding on to Charizard with one hand and his cap with the other. A tremor ran through Green, and he couldn’t stop himself from going still. Nothing prepared him for this, and he didn’t know… didn’t know what to do, or say, or… There were lots of things he wanted to say, but no number of mental rehearsals would’ve readied him for Red. Two years, almost three since he’d last seen him, and even longer since they were friends. 

  


Red slid off Charizard easily, Pikachu jumping onto the ground beside him. Green didn’t have time to think, but simple muscle memory instinctively turned his eyes to Red’s hands as he signed. The question was simple enough: What are you doing out here?

  


Green glanced at Eevee, as if she could offer him an answer. She only stared at him with a knowing stare, and so Green turned back again, looking at Red’s cap instead of his eyes; if he did, he might fall into them. Green opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. He didn’t want to answer, didn’t want to say anything, but hadn’t he given Red enough lies already? _You’re pathetic, I don’t need you, I’m better than you, I want you to leave me alone?_ When he finally spoke, his voice came out tinny and weak, none of the bravado of being a gym leader present. Suddenly, he was a five-year-old again, sharing his confidences with Red about a future that seemed so far away.

  


“I just wanted to go on an adventure.”

  


-

  


Green sat in Red’s cave, warming his hands near a fire pit. He didn’t even bring gloves for this, now that he thought about it. He wanted to laugh, but it really wasn’t funny. None of this was funny, but he felt like bursting into laughter. Maybe he was getting a bit delirious. He was still wrapping his head around the fact that Red had been here all along, a stone’s throw away from Kanto. He couldn’t bring himself to be angry with Red, honestly. He felt like he should be, on behalf of Red’s mom too, but he just felt drained and tired. And relieved, because Red was here, whole and alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. When he thought about that, he wanted to cry instead of laugh. He really was going crazy.

  


Green buried his head in his hands. Red was at the mouth of the cave, conferring with Snorlax because he’d always had the ability to do that, communicate properly with his Pokemon. He felt something small nudge him and raised his eyes to see Pikachu, holding out a Leppa Berry. He smiled and shook his head. “Eevee would probably appreciate that though, the girl’s tired,” he suggested to the electric mouse, gesturing towards Eevee, who was sitting on Lapras’ back. Pikachu gave him a small shock that he chose to interpret as affectionate, and bounded off towards Eevee. When Green returned his attention to the flames, he found Red staring at him. He tilted his head to one side, as a defiant question of _what are you looking at?_ Red didn’t respond, sitting down next to Green. Side by side, Green easily noticed how Red was bigger and taller than him now, and his body seemed to be immune to the freezing temperatures of Mt Silver. Green couldn’t hold back a bitter smile, remembering when he would call Red a runt. As he grew, Green’s lines had resolved themselves into a lean, somewhat lanky figure. Red was different. Well, they were always inevitably different, some way or another.

  


Red sent him a searching, questioning glance, but Green only shrugged. “Just thinking about old times,” he said, trying to keep as much as cool nonchalance in his voice as he could. Red held his gaze, and Green got the feeling that he was being laid bare under those dark eyes. When Red turned away, however, some part of Green wanted to reach out and pull him back. Stop being stupid, he thought madly at himself, forcing himself to pay attention to what Red was saying instead. You’ve changed, Red signed shortly, and Green’s heart lurched in his chest. “Yeah,” Green answered needlessly. “I-” he started, then cut himself off. “It’s been awhile,” he tried instead, feeling like he was being weighed down by his own thoughts. He started at the feeling of weight against his side, but it was only Red shifting closer to him, offering silent rapport. I missed you, Red said, and Green blinked in shock. He was so terrible to Red, consistently, for years on end, and still? Red picked up on Green’s disbelief quickly, and so he continued: Nothing’s the same without you, Green. You know that.

  


Green wanted to say that no, he didn’t know that at all. But it wouldn’t be true. Not having Red around was like having someone throw an axe at his life, breaking it into two. But he was the one who tossed the axe at all, wasn’t he? The day when he decided that he would make it his goal to stomp Red into the ground? And he couldn’t even do that. Not that he ever truly wanted to, but he tried his damnedest to break Red, to shatter the competition. Competition was a word he liked to use with himself back then, because it made everything into a game, and then it was much simpler to be heartless. A means to an end, he’d remind himself, then he’d rub salt into Red’s wounds, the same ones that he bandaged when he was younger. Green could never forgive himself for any of it, and he couldn’t comprehend the idea that Red would be ready to offer forgiveness. He shouldn’t be.

  


“Red,” Green replied, trying not to choke on air. “I-I’m sorry, Red. I’m so fucking sorry for everything, for everything I said and everything I did to hurt you, you didn’t deserve that at all and I just-just really want to have a do-over where I can, I could, I-” Green broke off, feeling delirious. His hands scrabbled for purchase on the cave floor, something to hold on to, but there wasn’t anything. “I’m sorry, Red. I know it doesn’t mean anything, but now I’m intruding into your space again, and probably interrupting you, and…” He breathed deeply, tilting his head up so his tears wouldn’t run. “I’ll go, if it means anything, because I don’t think there’s much I can do to make it up to you anymore, I’ll just be a thorn in your side.” He didn’t look at Red, instead staring at his feet again. Assuming the worst, he was about to get up when Red tugged harshly on his shoulders so they were facing each other. Red’s face was a storm of emotions. It looked like loneliness, like fury, like bitterness, like sadness, like regret, like pain. Red always felt things more strongly than anyone else; this was something that Green knew to be a fact. Green’s heart twisted at the sight and he shook his head. “Red?” 

  


Red’s hands were fast and frantic, but Green never lost the ability to catch the words. 

  


_Why would I want you to leave? I was always afraid of losing you._

  


-

  


“Gramps is working on some stuff again,” Green said as he emerged into Red’s room. Although there was no telling inflection in his voice, the statement already had a lot of connotations: that the Professor wasn’t around in the house, and Daisy was out working on odd jobs and errands. Even though Green didn’t express disappointment often, Red could read his best friend better than anyone else in the world. He was always somewhat upset when Oak wouldn’t find time for his grandchildren, even though their parents had long deserted Pallet. Years later, Green’s sadness would turn grey and become numb, but they were still children then. Red glanced up from where he was cleaning his Pokemon figures and tipped his head towards his bed, which meant _Let’s chat._ Green soundlessly sat down at the foot of Red’s bed, kicking his legs off the side as Red came over and joined him. As soon as he did, Green was off on a tangent, talking about the stuff that was going around town, with Red occasionally making a comment, prompting Green’s mirth. Green talked a lot and was pretty noisy, but Red didn’t mind.

  


As the morning faded into the afternoon, Green nudged Red, who was lying flat on his back now. Red glanced at him, what? “I heard there were Staryu at the river, do you wanna go see or what?” Red’s excitement was evident in his smile and glittering eyes, and Green took his hand deftly, pulling him to his feet with a sharp, clear laugh. As they ran down the stairs and out of the house, Red’s mom reminded them to come back before dark, to which Green answered with a chipper “Okay!” His grip on Red’s hand was tight and warm, and he dragged Red along, who followed willingly. Even as they kicked off their shoes to step in the river, Green didn’t let go of Red. They stood side by side, plunged knee deep in the salt water. Wingull took flight above them, and the sky was a pretty shade of blue.

  


There, signed Red, pointing a little ways from the shoreline where the telltale tips of a group of Staryu peeked over the surface. “Hey,” whispered Green. “Daisy told me that you could make wishes on stars. D’you reckon you can wish on Staryu?” Red’s eyes widened, then he nodded steadily. Releasing his grip, Green pressed his hands together, squeezing his eyes shut. Green mouthed his wish, and Red could read it on his lips. _I want to go on a Pokemon adventure._ Red smiled at his best friend and did the same, wishing as hard as he could on the small star shaped Pokemon.

  


_I want to go on a Pokemon adventure with Green._

  


-

  


They had a bit of a routine now. Green was known for disappearing for long stretches of time, so no one was really surprised when he left his gym to his trainers for consecutive days once every few weeks. He trusted their capabilities, and he knew that they probably had a better understanding of him than most people. The trek up Mt Silver became familiar after a few times, and all of his Pokemon knew where they were they going when he released them on the other side of the League’s reception gate. It was still a difficult hike, but even the most treacherous path could become passible with experience. Just as the blankets of snow underfoot became friends to him, Red slipped back into his life with a similar ease. Even though it had been ages since they were part of each other’s daily lives, stepping into Red’s cave still felt dangerously like coming home, and seeing Red smile still gave him a sense of comfort that nothing else could. In the colder nights, Red held Green in his sleep, leaving Green to trace the lines of relationships down Red’s back, tickling his spine. His fingers always trailed downwards, down, down, just like how he was going down too, falling, like snow…

  


“Why did you come here?” Green asked one night, as Eevee nestled with Pikachu in the back of the cave. “To Mt Silver, I mean.” Red tensed for a second, but he relaxed once Green bumped their shoulders together, as a way of saying _I’m here._ Green watched Red closely, studied the shadows that were racing across his skin, his lashes casting a tattoo on his cheeks. He let out a small private laugh because – God, was Red pretty. He was already good at everything else too, damn it. Green wasn’t even bitter about it, just felt happy and fevered for a reason he couldn’t pinpoint. When Red finally responded, Green’s body was angled in a way that was steady, open and comforting. _It’s okay, you can do this._ Sometime after his defeat at the League, Green became a better listener, and Red realized that. Was grateful for that.

  


I thought you would come, Red signed. Thought you would chase after me, if nothing else. He shook his head. I thought if I got stronger, then surely you would… 

  


Red’s eyes were hooded and vulnerable all at once when he looked at Green. Strands of his black hair laid flat across his forehead and his legs were crossed neatly where he sat, and Green felt an indescribable surge of affection that lit up his chest like fairy lights. Leaning over on his knees, Green kissed him.

  


-

  


“Red,” Green huffed one evening, after making his way up Mt Silver. His Pidgeot was perched precariously behind him, ruffling his feathers to rid his wings of the snow and frost. Red glanced up in surprise – it’d only been a few days since Green last left, but he was always welcome. Green was probably coming after a work day, Red reasoned, explaining the late hour. Red got to his feet, walking out of his usual abode. Pikachu was on his heels, easily jumping onto his shoulder and levelling the same questioning gaze at Green, who was looking determined. Green seemed to loosen up at Pikachu’s expression, amusement breaking past his seriousness. He addressed the electric Pokemon first, running a finger over his nose and making him go cross-eyed. “Hey, Pikachu. I’m not going to kidnap Red or anything, so don’t you worry, alright?” Pikachu seemed to be even more concerned at this, narrowing his eyes rather comically and puffing out his chest. Green chuckled and leaned back, facing Red properly, whose eyebrows were raised, though his expression was full of fondness.

  


“Red,” Green said again, holding both of Red’s hands in his own to calm his own nerves. “Do you want to move in with me?”

  


Red’s eyes were wide but full of happiness. Raising one of Blue’s hands to his lips, he kissed the inside of his wrist, then signed a simple reply. 

  


_I thought you’d never ask._

  


**Author's Note:**

> i've been thinking about these two for like a whole month so i spent six whole hours today writing this because i had to get it out of my system. oh well... thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed!!


End file.
